The real reason the Rapture didn't happen

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cenzo78

New member
And why we're all here today!

machoman.jpg
 
Bro. I'm a very religious man and such, however I will say I laughed at this one, it made me chuckle....I have little room when it comes to jokes about God/Jesus and other religions, but anymore I'm lightening up.....

This will be a FB pic now, thanks for the laugh!
 
Haha, my buddy on FB threw it up there and I stole it. I think its great! And if someone other than Hulk Hogan can kick out of the elbow off the top rope, its Jesus
 
YEAH...I have very little room about this stuff. I know it is meant in good humor because of the predictions, but if the guy knew his Bible he would have known that "no man knows the day or the hour"...and yes, I do know my Bible. I was a pastor for 20 years and have an M.Div in pastoral theology. Just saying....when it finally does happen...everyone will be more than shocked...but I will be with my daughter who went on before me. Having said that..."if anyone can kick out...it's Jesus...made me laugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
 
The truth of the matter is, the Rapture can't and won't come intill Chuck Norris gives the ok, or if Chuck Norris dies, but come one people we all know that Chuck Norris can't die!
But if it does happen, do you think Chuck Norris will remain on Earth as a volunteer to fight/kill the Anti-Christ?


Or the real Top 10 reasons!


10) Even God wants to see the photos of Osama Bin Laden's body

9) God is waiting for George Lucas to make up for his last 3 Star Wars films.

8) Rapture is postponed until next week so God can find out who is the next American Idol

7) Chuck Norris's beard said, "Not today God"

6) God stopped to get a table dance

5) The bottom of your Rapture ticket clearly states, "Card Subject to Change"

4) It DID happen and the only person found worthy was Randy "The Macho Man" Savage

3) Heaven is in foreclosure

2) God was not allowed to come to Earth without first showing his long form Birth Certificate

and my number one reason why the Rapture did not happen.....

1) Fred Phelps is not yet finished spreading God's Will yet. Once that is done, then you can have your Rapture!

 
YEAH...I have very little room about this stuff. I know it is meant in good humor because of the predictions, but if the guy knew his Bible he would have known that "no man knows the day or the hour"...and yes, I do know my Bible. I was a pastor for 20 years and have an M.Div in pastoral theology. Just saying....when it finally does happen...everyone will be more than shocked...but I will be with my daughter who went on before me. Having said that..."if anyone can kick out...it's Jesus...made me laugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"



Very nice
 
I was so sick of hearing about this bullshit that it made me sick. I'm glad it came and went exactly like most sane people thought it would, now we can do the same next year with this Mayan stuff
 
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