babysiren
New member
Yesterday i found out my ex-boyfriend killed himself. I got home from work, and his parents called me, and told me the awful news. He was on medication for depression, he was in the hospital in February, because he was having really bad anxiety attacks. I'm sorry for the post, but i'm so upset, and hurt, and i don't understand why he did it. He wrote me a letter saying why, and he said he couldn't deal with the pain of depression anymore. This is so hard on me, i don't know what to do. I keep thinking it's a big nightmare, and i'll wake up and he'll be fine. But i know it's not. He said he's sorry for hurting me, but he can't live any more. I'm so messed up right now. I don't know how to deal with this. When does the pain of it all stop? I haven't gotten to sleep yet. I keep thinking about him, and seeing him in my head, and picturing him doing that in my head..Oh God!! this is so hard to deal with. I don't know how to go on, dealing with all this pain and hurt. Not being able to see him anymore, knowing he's gone. It's gonna be so hard to deal with. Again, I'm sorry for the post, just wanted to let some of the pain out.