I feel you on the addiction thing. I went through the same thing, from 190 natural @ about 7-8% bf and on full athletic scholarship to dropping out of school at 145 lbs and mental as shit. I was pretty strong for being nature as well (benching 285lbs and doing squats w/ 405 reps) I know that is not shit to most of you but wtf. Now 8 yrs later I am doing reps w/ 275lbs on bench but my legs are not quite as strong. I have been natural up to 3 months ago. Now 220lbs and bf about 12%. My goal is 205-210 @ 6-7% BF.
Glad you made it out of the misery that is drug addiction. Be careful w/ the AAS you do not want to switch out your addictions.
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